I started this morning off when a letter that I would not be getting financial assistance to cover my medical bills.

For the past few years I have received this assistance from the same company and it is critically needed: the shots that I need to get every week costs $1,000 each time and I work at a nonprofit, so I am barely getting by financially.

To say this was a blow and upsetting was an understatement. I need this medicine but I can’t afford it. What am I to do?

Though I don’t want to hear this news or deal with it, I think I needed it. For months now I have felt myself moving away from God. This has sent me crawling back to Him. One of the first thoughts I had after the initial shock of the news wore off was that I need to praise God and trust in Him through the good times AND the tough times. I can’t just lean on God and praise Him when it is convenient for me. My relationship with God is a constant thing and needs to be foster all the time. And I have NOT been doing that. This was a wake up call.

Another sign was the verse of the day for today from Our Daily Verse: Hebrews 11:1: “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see”. What is the coincidence that when I need to live by faith upon hearing tough news that the verse of the day email, one that I always get, has to do directly with my situation? I believe this is God speaking to me reminding me that I need to surrender to Him and have faith.

I am still fully processing this situation but my first lesson is I am reminded that I need to actively work on my relationship with God always and to constantly surrender to Him- in the good times and the bad times.

Here is to walking by faith.