For the past couple of weeks I have been thinking how I wish I was finally in a relationship. I want someone who likes me and likes me for who I truly am. Will I ever find this? Will I ever find someone who fully sees me and still wants me?
This week I am starting to read the book of Hosea. As I am doing my general preparations about the themes of the book, I learn the book uses the example of Hosea’s marriage as an allegory of God’s relationship with Israel.
Hosea is married to Gomer who keeps cheating on him. Though Hosea is heartbroken, God tells him to stay with Gomer and to restore her. This is similar to how God treats us: through we constantly cheat on Him, He continues to be faithful to us and restores us.
I have been running away from a faithful husband who loves. I’m looking for love and acceptance in things that will never truly fulfill me. God is all that I have ever needed. I need this reminder of how God views me. It has also reminded me that I need to be dating God and not looking to others for some sort of validation.
It seems that reading Hosea has come at a good time for me. I’m looking forward to seeing what God shows me through Hosea.
For the last couple of months I have been struggling with shame and God’s forgiveness and mercy.
As I was snuggling with my cat this morning, an image of God’s mercy came into my mind. For all my cat parents out there, you know when a cat snuggles with you, no matter what their size, they some how end up with ALL THE BLANKETS!
An image popped into my head of the blankets representing God’s mercy. He wraps us in His mercy fully. It covers us a million times over and is renewed every day. It never runs out. We are completed covered tightly with His mercy and grace.
I was so thankful to start my morning off with this image. Thankful that God knew I was struggling with the topic and gave me a wonderful image to provide comfort and a reminder He is always there for me.
Shame has really taken a hold of me and I am struggling to cast of its chains.
I know/believe that shame is not from God but I still can’t shake it off. It is really causing me pain.
To help me process this, I am going to do a little bit of a deep dive into shame in the lens of Christianity. And to remind myself that God loves me still.
For pride month this year I read “Building a Bridge: How the Catholic Church and the LGBT Community Can Enter into a Relationship of Respect, Compassion, and Sensitivity” by James Martin, a Catholic priest. This book really put into words what I have believed for a while: I can be a believer and still support the LGBTQIA+ community.
I share some of the quotes from the book that really spoke to me.
For pride month this year I read “Building a Bridge: How the Catholic Church and the LGBT Community Can Enter into a Relationship of Respect, Compassion, and Sensitivity” by James Martin, a Catholic priest. This book really put into words what I have believed for a while: I can be a believer and still support the LGBTQIA+ community.
I share some of the quotes from the book that really spoke to me.
This morning I read Isaiah 22 and it was definitely a chapter I needed to read today.
In the chapter it is prophesied that Jerusalem will collapse. Instead of repenting and turning to God, the Israelites make preparations for war while singing and dancing. As described in Isaiah 22:11-
You built a reservoir between the two walls for the water of the Old Pool, but you did not look to the One who made it, or have regard for the One who planned it long ago.
The Israelites were relying on their own talents and “power” to prepare for the future. And right now I feel like I am acting like the Israelites of long ago. I am worried about things to come in the future, but instead of turning to God I’m turning to my own, limited “power” and strength. I’m trying to prepare on my own.
Of course I have tried to use my own “power” to control things in the past and it never works. I have no power of my own. Any strength I have comes from God.
So when I read this chapter this morning it served as a loud reminder that I need to turn INTO God and not away from Him. I can’t do it in my own and I need Him.
I guess I am struggling with what the Bible says and what I want to do.
I know this sounds crazy for fellow believers because what the Bible says, we need to do. But now I am questioning why? Why do I need to do what the Bible says in this particular area?
I have been following the Bible in this particular area for decades to no avail. I thought by now I would see God working in this particular area but haven’t seen anything. Should I continue? What is this all for?
Along with that I am worried that God is going to condemned me if I slip up and sin. I know this is false and that God is love and He doesn’t condemn for “God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him” (John 3:17). But right now I feel as if I am being condemned before I have done anything.
And because I’m struggling and I am thinking about not following the Bible, I feel ashamed and that I can’t approach God. I can’t pray or praise Him. Shame is keeping me away from His presence.
I know this is the devil working to keep God and me apart. I am trying to fight it but I am struggling.
It’s hard sharing this but I share it so that others who maybe struggling may know they are not alone and feel encouraged to keep going and drawing closer to God.
I was listening to my church sermon for the week and in the beginning they had a slideshow playing with music. The song that was playing, which was suppose to be just background music, started to speak to me. I instantly loved it and I needed to know the song ASAP.
And that is how I discovered and fell in love with the song Alive by Nonah.
The lyrics are powerful and really spoke to me. I have broken down the lyrics that spoke to me the most:
You’re my constant conversation/My hello and goodbye.
I strive to be in constant conversation with God. I want Him to be my first thought in the morning and the last thing I think about before I go to sleep. I know God’s thoughts about me out number the grains of sand (Psalm 139:17-18).
And in my darkest night/You love me back to life.
This is exactly how God delivers us from dark times. He doesn’t yell at us or expects greatness when we are struggling. He simply loves us and lets us know that He is near. He loves us so much He gave up His son, the ultimate light that shines in the darkness (John 3:16).
Your words are my salvation/My perfect peace of mind
I have lost count how many times I sought God for peace and He gave it to me generously. As a person with anxiety, I feel as if I know almost every verse in the Bible about worry. I have found that only God can give true peace. “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” (John 14:27).
No one else knows me like You do.
God has known you before you were even born. He thinks about me, and you, ALL the time. He created us so He knows us the best. “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb” (Psalm 139:13).
You’re the only one who makes me feel alive
Earthly pursuits are meaningless and are temporary (Ecclesiastes 1). Many spend their whole lives in pursuits of honors and money, and in the end it is all for nothing. So where do we go to find purpose and to feel alive? God. He is the only one who gives us life and purpose.
This song has been on repeat for me nonstop this week. It has really spoken to me and made me really think about the importance of God in my life.
Like everyone on earth, I am on TikTok. One of the creators of the app that I follow is Ju & Chan. This is a power couple that bless everyone with their funny videos of their lives together.
They have been very open publicly about their struggle of getting pregnant and have suffered a couple of miscarriages. Yesterday I saw their video announcing that they are pregnant! The music of the video is the song Promises.
I have this song on my Spotify worship playlist, but it hit me extra hard yesterday and I have been listening to it ever since watching the TikTok video. As I shared previously, since Christmas I have really been thinking about God’s promises and how He always fulfills them; they always come to past. This song poetically puts that message to music.
At the end of this post I have shared the complete lyrics of the song, but here are the lines that really speak to me:
Time and time again/You have proven/You’ll do just what You said
Though the storms may come and the winds may blow/I’ll remain steadfast
And let my heart learn, when You speak a word/It will come to pass
Great is Your faithfulness to me
Your history can prove/There’s nothing You can’t do
I put my faith in Jesus/My anchor to the ground
He’ll never let me down
No matter the season or how bad the storm is, God remains the same. He is unchanging. He will never let you down and He ALWAYS keeps His promises.
When I feel weak, I will remain steadfast in the unchanging nature of God and meditate on all the promises He has kept and will fulfill.
Promises (full song lyrics)
Faithful through the ages
God of Abraham You’re the God of covenant And of faithful promises Time and time again You have proven You’ll do just what You said
Though the storms may come and the winds may blow I’ll remain steadfast And let my heart learn, when You speak a word It will come to pass
Great is Your faithfulness to me Great is Your faithfulness to me From the rising sun to the setting same I will praise Your name Great is Your faithfulness to me
When the seasons change You remain the same
God from age to age Though the earth may pass away Your word remains the same, yeah Your history can prove There’s nothing You can’t do You’re faithful and true
Though the storms may come and the winds may blow I’ll remain steadfast And let my heart learn, when You speak a word It will come to pass
Great is Your faithfulness to me, oh Great is Your faithfulness From the rising sun From the rising sun to the setting same (I will praise Your name) I will praise Your name (oh, praise Your name) Great is Your faithfulness to me, yeah, yeah (oh, oh)
Your faithfulness, it never runs out (yeah) It never runs out Oh-oh, Your faithfulness Oh, it never runs out (it never runs out) It never runs out (it never runs out)
I put my faith in Jesus My anchor to the ground My hope and firm foundation He’ll never let me down, no I put my faith in Jesus My anchor to the ground (my hope and firm foundation) He’s my hope and firm foundation (He’ll never let me down) He’ll never let me down, oh, I put (oh) I put my trust (faith) in Jesus (yes, I do) My anchor to the ground My hope and firm foundation (my hope and firm foundation) He’ll never let me down (He’ll never let me down) Never let me down I put my faith in Jesus (I put my faith in Jesus) My anchor to the ground (my anchor to the ground), oh He’s my hope, my only hope, my only hope (my hope and firm foundation) He’ll never let me down (He’ll never let me down) He’ll never let me down (Your faithful)
Great is Your faithfulness to me (faithfulness, oh, great) Great is Your faithfulness to me (from the rising sun) From the rising sun to the setting same I will praise Your name In every season, great is Your faithfulness to me
Say, I put my faith I put my faith in Jesus My anchor to the ground (He’s my hope) My hope and firm foundation (and He’ll never let me down) He’ll never let me down (I put my faith) I put my faith in Jesus (my anchor) My anchor to the ground (He’s my hope) My hope and firm foundation (never let me down) He’ll never let me down (come on sing it loud) Say, I put my faith I put my faith in Jesus (my anchor to the ground) My anchor to the ground (my hope and) My hope and firm foundation (never let me down, He’ll never) He’ll never let me down (never let me) I put my faith in Jesus (I put my faith in Jesus) My anchor to the ground (my anchor to the ground) He’s my hope and firm foundation My hope and firm foundation He’ll never let me down (He’ll never let me down) No, He’ll never let me down (He’ll never let me down)
Great is, great (oh, still great) Great is Your faithfulness to me In every season, great is Your faithfulness to me (great is Your faithfulness) From the rising sun From the rising sun to the setting same (hey) I will praise Your name From the rising sun From the rising sun to the setting same (hey) I will praise Your name From the rising sun From the rising sun to the setting same (let it go up and let it go down) I will praise Your name (I’ll still bless You, I’ll still praise You)
From the rising sun to the setting same (let it go up and let it go down) I will praise Your name (and I’ll still bless You, I’ll still praise You) From the rising sun to the setting same (let it go up and let it go down) I will praise Your name (and I’ll still bless You, I’ll still bless You) From the rising sun to the setting same (and I’ll still bless You, I’ll still bless You) I will praise Your name (I’ll still bless You)
Great is Great is Your faithfulness to me (I’ll still bless You) Great is Your faithfulness to me (I’ll still bless You) From the rising sun (I’ll still bless you) From the rising sun to the setting same (I’ll still bless You) I will praise Your name (I’ll still bless You) Great is Your faithfulness to me (I’ll still bless You)
Yes, I’ll still bless You In the middle of the storm, in the middle of my trial I’ll still bless You In the middle of the road, when I don’t know where to go I’ll still bless You (yeah) In the middle of my storm, in the middle of my trial I’ll still bless You (yeah) When I’m in the middle of the road and I don’t know which way to go I’ll still (I’ll still bless You) I’ll still bless You I’ll still bless You, oh (I’ll still bless You) I’ve got a reason to bless You, yeah I’ve got a reason to bless You (I’ll still bless You) I’ve got a reason to bless Your name You’ve been faithful, You’ve been faithful (I’ll still bless You) You’ve been so good to me, You’ve been so good Come on just lift up your praise Just lift up your worship to him You’ve been so good, you’ve been so good Let this, oh, this body be filled with Your praise Be filled with Your praise (we bless Your name, we bless Your name) We bless Your name, oh-oh-oh I’ll still bless You, oh-oh-oh I’ll still bless You, oh-oh-oh I’ll still bless You, oh-oh-oh I’ll still bless You Great is Your faithfulness
Great is Your faithfulness to me (great is) Great is Your faithfulness to me (from the rising sun) From the rising sun to the setting same I will praise Your name (from the rising sun) From the rising sun to the setting same (oh my God) I will praise Your name (from the rising sun) From the rising sun to the setting same (yeah) I will praise Your name (great is) Great is Your faithfulness to me
It is that time of year again: it’s cold outside, feel good decorations and music surround everyone and the year begins to wind down.
As Christians, this time of year offers a special meaning: the celebration of the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ.
As I reflect, this Christmas holds a specific reminder for me: God keeps His promises.
This past year was a huge challenge for me as I struggled with my mental health. One thing I held on to to get me through the tough times was the reminder of God’s promises: He hears me; He will deliver me and He will not abandon me.
This Christmas I am focusing on the promises the birth of Jesus fulfilled: God’s promise to His people that they will always have a king on the throne and that king will come from the line of David.
Throughout the Old Testament, God kept reminding the people of these promises. In the end it took thousands of years to be fulfilled, but when you read the genealogy of Jesus in Matthew 1 you see that God kept His promise. And as believers, we know that Jesus is the Son of God and reigns for all eternity. Another promise kept.
Though it may feel like we are forgotten, God NEVER fails and His timing is always perfect.
As this year winds to an end and a new year begins, I am going to focus more on the promise that God ALWAYS keeps His promises.
CE's Faith Journey 