Sharing My Faith Journey with the World

  • You Can’t Escape God’s Plan

    I have started to dive into the book of Jonah and though I am just a chapter in, it is already speaking a message I need to hear.

    In the first chapter of the book God calls Jonah to go to the city of Nineveh to preach. Instead of following God’s call, Jonah sets sails in the direct opposite path from Nineveh. He tries to escape God, but God sees everything, has a storm came for Jonah and eventually Jonah is swallowed by a large fish.

    Jonah tries to escape God’s plan and call for him, but in the end he can’t: God finds him and redirects him.

    This is giving me hope because I feel like I don’t know God’s call for my life. This feeling is really strong within me when thinking about my career. I feel like I don’t have a strong calling for my career and this hinders me when applying for jobs or trying to develop professionally. I feel so lost.

    But no matter what I am feeling, in the end God’s plan for my life will prevail. I can’t out run or escape God’s plan for my life. And I am so thankful for this. This offers me comfort and a reminder that everything will work out in the end. I just need to trust Him.

  • Maybe the Book of Hosea is What I Need Right Now

    For the past couple of weeks I have been thinking how I wish I was finally in a relationship. I want someone who likes me and likes me for who I truly am. Will I ever find this? Will I ever find someone who fully sees me and still wants me?

    This week I am starting to read the book of Hosea. As I am doing my general preparations about the themes of the book, I learn the book uses the example of Hosea’s marriage as an allegory of God’s relationship with Israel.

    Hosea is married to Gomer who keeps cheating on him. Though Hosea is heartbroken, God tells him to stay with Gomer and to restore her. This is similar to how God treats us: through we constantly cheat on Him, He continues to be faithful to us and restores us.

    I have been running away from a faithful husband who loves. I’m looking for love and acceptance in things that will never truly fulfill me. God is all that I have ever needed. I need this reminder of how God views me. It has also reminded me that I need to be dating God and not looking to others for some sort of validation.

    It seems that reading Hosea has come at a good time for me. I’m looking forward to seeing what God shows me through Hosea.

  • Wrapped in God’s Mercy

    For the last couple of months I have been struggling with shame and God’s forgiveness and mercy.

    As I was snuggling with my cat this morning, an image of God’s mercy came into my mind. For all my cat parents out there, you know when a cat snuggles with you, no matter what their size, they some how end up with ALL THE BLANKETS!

    An image popped into my head of the blankets representing God’s mercy. He wraps us in His mercy fully. It covers us a million times over and is renewed every day. It never runs out. We are completed covered tightly with His mercy and grace.

    I was so thankful to start my morning off with this image. Thankful that God knew I was struggling with the topic and gave me a wonderful image to provide comfort and a reminder He is always there for me.

    My cat Harlow taking up all the blankets.

  • Struggling with Shame

    Shame has really taken a hold of me and I am struggling to cast of its chains.

    I know/believe that shame is not from God but I still can’t shake it off. It is really causing me pain.

    To help me process this, I am going to do a little bit of a deep dive into shame in the lens of Christianity. And to remind myself that God loves me still.

  • I Have Everything in Christ

    I often worry that I won’t be able to handle situations that come my way. If something tough or bad happens, will I be able to handle it?

    While reading Ephesians 6:17 this morning I was reminded that I have all the tools necessary to face anything with the help of Christ.

    From ourdailyverse.com

    I can’t do anything on my own, but through the grace and mercy of God I can do anything. He graciously provides all the armor I need to get through the tough times.

    Going forward I am going to work on submitting my anxiety to God as well as putting on the full armor of God and finding peace within in.

  • Building a Bridge: The Catholic Church and the LGBTQIA+ Community

    For pride month this year I read “Building a Bridge: How the Catholic Church and the LGBT Community Can Enter into a Relationship of Respect, Compassion, and Sensitivity” by James Martin, a Catholic priest. This book really put into words what I have believed for a while: I can be a believer and still support the LGBTQIA+ community.

    I share some of the quotes from the book that really spoke to me.

  • Building a Bridge: The Catholic Church and the LGBTQIA+ Community

    For pride month this year I read “Building a Bridge: How the Catholic Church and the LGBT Community Can Enter into a Relationship of Respect, Compassion, and Sensitivity” by James Martin, a Catholic priest. This book really put into words what I have believed for a while: I can be a believer and still support the LGBTQIA+ community.

    I share some of the quotes from the book that really spoke to me.

  • Isaiah 22: Reminder to Rely on God

    This morning I read Isaiah 22 and it was definitely a chapter I needed to read today.

    In the chapter it is prophesied that Jerusalem will collapse. Instead of repenting and turning to God, the Israelites make preparations for war while singing and dancing. As described in Isaiah 22:11-

    You built a reservoir between the two walls
    for the water of the Old Pool,
    but you did not look to the One who made it,
    or have regard for the One who planned it long ago.

    The Israelites were relying on their own talents and “power” to prepare for the future. And right now I feel like I am acting like the Israelites of long ago. I am worried about things to come in the future, but instead of turning to God I’m turning to my own, limited “power” and strength. I’m trying to prepare on my own.

    Of course I have tried to use my own “power” to control things in the past and it never works. I have no power of my own. Any strength I have comes from God.

    So when I read this chapter this morning it served as a loud reminder that I need to turn INTO God and not away from Him. I can’t do it in my own and I need Him.

  • Reflecting this Easter with Isaiah 53:5

    Isaiah 53:5- But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.

    Isaiah 53:5 is one of my favorite Bible verses and one I like to reflect on during the Easter season. It serves as a great reminder of my need of a savior and God’s love for me.

    This verse really humbles me with a reminder that it is ME and MY SIN that nailed Jesus to the cross. I’m the reason that Jesus had to die. I’m imperfect and in need of a savior. I cannot save myself and this is hard for me to accept as someone who wants to be independent and not reliant on others. But I am always reminded how human I am and how much I need Jesus.

    But Jesus WANTS to be there for me and to be my savior. So this verse also reminds me of God’s great love for me. He loves me despite my sin. He loves me so much that He sacrificed His son so that I may have eternal life with Him. His love and mercy silence me in amazement because I am so not worthy. But God views me as worthy and deserving of peace.

    Going forward I need to do better at reflecting on God’s sacrifice for me and use it as a reminder to be grateful, that Jesus is there for me and that God loves me so much.

  • Struggling with My Faith

    To be honest, I’m struggling in my faith.

    I guess I am struggling with what the Bible says and what I want to do.

    I know this sounds crazy for fellow believers because what the Bible says, we need to do. But now I am questioning why? Why do I need to do what the Bible says in this particular area?

    I have been following the Bible in this particular area for decades to no avail. I thought by now I would see God working in this particular area but haven’t seen anything. Should I continue? What is this all for?

    Along with that I am worried that God is going to condemned me if I slip up and sin. I know this is false and that God is love and He doesn’t condemn for “God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him” (John 3:17). But right now I feel as if I am being condemned before I have done anything.

    And because I’m struggling and I am thinking about not following the Bible, I feel ashamed and that I can’t approach God. I can’t pray or praise Him. Shame is keeping me away from His presence.

    I know this is the devil working to keep God and me apart. I am trying to fight it but I am struggling.

    It’s hard sharing this but I share it so that others who maybe struggling may know they are not alone and feel encouraged to keep going and drawing closer to God.